positive energy

I have to make a comment on the Second degree sihing class this year. There is such a feeling of family and support coming from them. I find this very inspiring. They have set up a fine support system between them. All for one and one for all. Just about every class I am in there will be a group of sihings working either in a group or alone. The Physical part of their black belt requirements will be taxing for them but I can't help but feel that they have really got a good understanding of the mental end of things. The battle with mind in these kinds of tests can make or break the success of the individual. To surround yourself with like minded people who also have positive thoughts can only come out in a good result. I think we are going to have a great group of new black belts come the spring.

Linda

Self awareness

These days I find myself trying to see myself as others see me. Of course this is impossible.I have always loved people watching and I thought I could guess who they might be by their body language. This in turn brings me back to myself and how I might move or react to other people in most situations. Even if I can hold myself still and straight, I can't always control what comes out of my mouth.
Over the last two years it has been my personal goal to overcome my shyness. This has been a hugh struggle. I find it takes a lot of self control to ignore the little voice in my head that constantly erodes at my self confidence. The voice that second guesses every thought as being stupid or wrong, and much to my own doing trying to "read" other peoples reactions in every conversation. The other thing which I try to control is turning red when I feel slightly uncomfortable. I"m not always sure if it's my internal temperature or if its heating my face up too.
This week has been very hard one to handle. I find that I can't always deal with the "new" reactions to my small steps in the battle with shyness. People who give me responsibilities that I'm not sure I can handle or even deserve. That self talk sneaks back into my head and once again I feel shy and want to go back to the safe place.

This journey has become terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time. One thing for sure is that it is never boring. I must admit that the saying "one step forward and two back" definitely applies to me . I think the biggest revolution so far is just to be myself and hope that people like what they see.

Linda

Here comes the sun!

I can't help but notice that the older I get the longer the winter seems. This week has seen the long awaited spring/summer weather I have been waiting impatiently for. I have learned some things about myself in the last six months by living the UBBT. One of the most significant is that I love to live out doors. Being outside in the sun/rain with the mild temperatures is what makes my heart sing. I know I have put in a good days work when I need a scrub brush to get the garden dirt off my feet. My big old dog is in his glory to have company with him all day long. Because of his size he lives outside. I never had the heart to tell him he is not a lap dog. The only thing that I could add to this picture is my kids working or playing around me while I work... schools out in a week so . Good things come to those who wait.
Anyway the real lesson here is like Sifu Brinker has been saying forever is to live in the moment. Depending on the time of day I can say focused in the "NOW" either that or I find myself trying to cram as much of the days into my memory to take out and look at in the long dark winter when my heart longs for the sun.
Maybe it's time to think of living in a warmer/milder climate. If only I could bring all my family with me. Anyone up for Costa Rica.

Linda

Instant gratification

There is not many things in life that you get satisfaction from right at the moment it happens. Most of the things in my life are on a wait and see time frame. It has been a life with many lessons in patience which defiantly is not my strong point. Wait for the next pay check, wait until your Dad gets home, wait until my husband gets home from out of town, wait until after supper, wait for your next belt, anyway the list goes on and on. So once in a while its nice to see the results of your labor right in front of you. This weekend we laid sod. The yard went from ugly black barren landscape to a lush green lawn in a matter of hours.
Now I would be the first to argue that anything worth having is best received after you have worked for it. Every once and a while though its good for the soul to see the results right in front of your eyes.
I never feel it's the right time to say it, but most classes I teach or help with in Kung Fu give me this same gratification. When I see the results of a single class or instruction within the students grasp or see the understanding dawn on their faces I get this same warm and fuzzy feeling. It probably doesn't feel like it was so instant to the student, but from a different point of view, the bigger picture was very clear.
So the things we feel will never come are some times right in front of us, we just never stepped back far enough to see the big picture.


Linda