The journey continues

The new year begins tomorrow. I am set and ready to go into ubbt 7. I have had time this last few weeks to reflect on 2009 and my goals I set for it. Some were almost too easy and others almost impossible for me to reach. The one thing for sure is it kept me engaged on a day to day basis. The journaling has had to be one of my biggest successes . I never kept a journal before but was always attracted to the idea. I skimmed through some of my entries from the last year and was able to pick out a few struggles I seem to repeat.I don't know if I can overcome them any better this time but I'm sure going to try.
Happy New Year!

Linda Shipalesky Silent River Kung Fu Stony Plain Alberta Canada

Constructive Criticism

I have had a few encounters with constructive criticism this last week. I realize I don't handle it too well. The one thing that I find important to take into account is the relationship with the person who is offering the criticism. The closer the relationship the harder it is to see it objectively. The more I have been focused on pleasing the person or the more I have perceived my performance as positive or negative the harder it is to hear the words aimed at me. I automatically go into a defensive mode. My brain shuts down and my temper rises .My emotions stir up and my reasoning shuts down. Depending on the subject, the child in me wants to protest the unfairness of all things related.I hate finding myself in the situation where I start making excuses. Weather I have a valid point or not it always feels like an attack to my senses. "But Dad he hit me first ... "
Where is the balance point? When is it right to defend your point of view and when do you truly learn from the advice.I think maybe I have to take into account the ground rules set out in the relationship before hand too. Employer to employee, Instructor to student but oh so not husband to wife. That one always gets the wrong reaction."You never see my point .... do you think I'm that stupid..."
The other thing that is hart to take is when I am observing someone I love or care for taking the criticism, the mothering instinct kicks in and I want to step in and shield the receiver from the harsh reality of the situation. Once again emotions rule my head.
I still have so much to learn about myself and the world I interact with. I know one thing for sure I do not do my best thinking in the middle of the night ... 2:45 am should be a time for being tucked safe in bed with good thoughts running in my head. Things always look different in the light of day but it felt like I could sleep better if I got this off my chest. My eyes are a bit blurry with sleep and I know my grammar and spelling will be worse than usual. So ...
Anyway, Good night

Linda Shipalesky Silent River Kung Fu Stony Plain Alberta

The weather outside is frightful ...

With the weather so cold and my car freezing up I have had to adjust my training, I usually go to the gym two to three times a week to put in my kilometers. I don't know if it counts but I tried counting my steps around the house and came up very short. I guess I will have to add some when the weather warms up.
Classes have been running a little smoother this last week. I have put on my thinking cap and tried to come up with new ways to inspire my students. I just needed to remind myself of all the black belt resources I have available to me in our school. Sure enough when I ask for help I always get a lot of advice and great support. A lot less talking and a little more listening.
Randy had his Christmas supper from work this Friday night. I try to practice my socializing skills but it is very hard to overcome my own insecurities . I did manage to make some small talk with people I didn't know so I''ll put that down as a small success.
Talk to you soon

Linda Shipalesky Silent River Kung Fu Stony Plain Alberta Canada

In a bad mood are we?

I woke up feeling cranky and out of sorts this morning. The weather is always a downer this time of year. I snapped at Randy before seeing him off to do the morning Kung Fu class. Had to talk Lacey into going to school. She hates standing at the transfer station in the cold. Threw a few digs at Adam about not attending Lacey's Christmas concert before he left for school. Sat and thought about the downfalls of last nights beginner class with my chia tea... So with feet dragging I walked Lacey down the driveway to wait for the bus. On my way past my car I noticed someone (Randy I'm sure ) had plugged it in for me. It made me stop and rethink my morning negative self talk. I always lash out at the ones that do the most for me , Why? Is it because I'm so sure they'll love me no matter what or because I have a captive audience ? They have no choose but to listen to my bi.... complaining. Just last night I read a blog from another black belt in our school about how she was combating negative reactions to curtain situations she encounters. Good thing I don't do that .... I think I'll go and reread her blog. There's a lesson to be learned there. I just need to be more humble and open up my mind. Come to think about it I know I have said this to myself before. Might be a good requirement to add to my UBBT 7, don't be so fast to judge others before looking at myself.

Linda Shipalesky Silent River Kung Fu Stony Plain Alberta Canada

Keep in touch

These are very exciting times. Our first UBBT 7 meeting was held this past Friday and I was able to see who will be sharing the experience this next year. I think there will be lots of support and great ideas from my fellow students.
The biggest observation I bring with me from UBBT 6 is to keep in touch with my team mates, even if its just reading their weekly blogs. I really got to know them better this way and could empathize with their day to day struggles. A couple of my team mates from 2009 did not read other peoples journals and then complained about how isolated and alone they felt through out the year.I know this can take some time but if you do a little reading at a time.... well it doesn't take that long.
Talk to you next week

Linda Shipalesky
Silent River Kung Fu Stony Plain Alberta Canada