The journey continues

The new year begins tomorrow. I am set and ready to go into ubbt 7. I have had time this last few weeks to reflect on 2009 and my goals I set for it. Some were almost too easy and others almost impossible for me to reach. The one thing for sure is it kept me engaged on a day to day basis. The journaling has had to be one of my biggest successes . I never kept a journal before but was always attracted to the idea. I skimmed through some of my entries from the last year and was able to pick out a few struggles I seem to repeat.I don't know if I can overcome them any better this time but I'm sure going to try.
Happy New Year!

Linda Shipalesky Silent River Kung Fu Stony Plain Alberta Canada

Constructive Criticism

I have had a few encounters with constructive criticism this last week. I realize I don't handle it too well. The one thing that I find important to take into account is the relationship with the person who is offering the criticism. The closer the relationship the harder it is to see it objectively. The more I have been focused on pleasing the person or the more I have perceived my performance as positive or negative the harder it is to hear the words aimed at me. I automatically go into a defensive mode. My brain shuts down and my temper rises .My emotions stir up and my reasoning shuts down. Depending on the subject, the child in me wants to protest the unfairness of all things related.I hate finding myself in the situation where I start making excuses. Weather I have a valid point or not it always feels like an attack to my senses. "But Dad he hit me first ... "
Where is the balance point? When is it right to defend your point of view and when do you truly learn from the advice.I think maybe I have to take into account the ground rules set out in the relationship before hand too. Employer to employee, Instructor to student but oh so not husband to wife. That one always gets the wrong reaction."You never see my point .... do you think I'm that stupid..."
The other thing that is hart to take is when I am observing someone I love or care for taking the criticism, the mothering instinct kicks in and I want to step in and shield the receiver from the harsh reality of the situation. Once again emotions rule my head.
I still have so much to learn about myself and the world I interact with. I know one thing for sure I do not do my best thinking in the middle of the night ... 2:45 am should be a time for being tucked safe in bed with good thoughts running in my head. Things always look different in the light of day but it felt like I could sleep better if I got this off my chest. My eyes are a bit blurry with sleep and I know my grammar and spelling will be worse than usual. So ...
Anyway, Good night

Linda Shipalesky Silent River Kung Fu Stony Plain Alberta

The weather outside is frightful ...

With the weather so cold and my car freezing up I have had to adjust my training, I usually go to the gym two to three times a week to put in my kilometers. I don't know if it counts but I tried counting my steps around the house and came up very short. I guess I will have to add some when the weather warms up.
Classes have been running a little smoother this last week. I have put on my thinking cap and tried to come up with new ways to inspire my students. I just needed to remind myself of all the black belt resources I have available to me in our school. Sure enough when I ask for help I always get a lot of advice and great support. A lot less talking and a little more listening.
Randy had his Christmas supper from work this Friday night. I try to practice my socializing skills but it is very hard to overcome my own insecurities . I did manage to make some small talk with people I didn't know so I''ll put that down as a small success.
Talk to you soon

Linda Shipalesky Silent River Kung Fu Stony Plain Alberta Canada

In a bad mood are we?

I woke up feeling cranky and out of sorts this morning. The weather is always a downer this time of year. I snapped at Randy before seeing him off to do the morning Kung Fu class. Had to talk Lacey into going to school. She hates standing at the transfer station in the cold. Threw a few digs at Adam about not attending Lacey's Christmas concert before he left for school. Sat and thought about the downfalls of last nights beginner class with my chia tea... So with feet dragging I walked Lacey down the driveway to wait for the bus. On my way past my car I noticed someone (Randy I'm sure ) had plugged it in for me. It made me stop and rethink my morning negative self talk. I always lash out at the ones that do the most for me , Why? Is it because I'm so sure they'll love me no matter what or because I have a captive audience ? They have no choose but to listen to my bi.... complaining. Just last night I read a blog from another black belt in our school about how she was combating negative reactions to curtain situations she encounters. Good thing I don't do that .... I think I'll go and reread her blog. There's a lesson to be learned there. I just need to be more humble and open up my mind. Come to think about it I know I have said this to myself before. Might be a good requirement to add to my UBBT 7, don't be so fast to judge others before looking at myself.

Linda Shipalesky Silent River Kung Fu Stony Plain Alberta Canada

Keep in touch

These are very exciting times. Our first UBBT 7 meeting was held this past Friday and I was able to see who will be sharing the experience this next year. I think there will be lots of support and great ideas from my fellow students.
The biggest observation I bring with me from UBBT 6 is to keep in touch with my team mates, even if its just reading their weekly blogs. I really got to know them better this way and could empathize with their day to day struggles. A couple of my team mates from 2009 did not read other peoples journals and then complained about how isolated and alone they felt through out the year.I know this can take some time but if you do a little reading at a time.... well it doesn't take that long.
Talk to you next week

Linda Shipalesky
Silent River Kung Fu Stony Plain Alberta Canada

UBBT 6

What has the UBBT done for me ?
I remember the first time Sifu Brinker mentioned this project in our black belt class. I knew he couldn't be talking to me, after all I was just an average student at best. He must be talking to the young, fit students who were only starting out in life. The ones who had small responsibilities . No family, mortgage , or a bunch of other things that cloud our lives as we get older. Over the next few weeks he planted the seed of possibility in my mind. If I didn't do this now maybe I would never have the courage or opportunity to try this again. I have not looked back since. It has been an incredible journey of personal growth and self discovery. It has given me the ability to start looking into all those deep dark corners in my mind that I do not always want to see.
It is helping quiet the voice of self doubt that has plagued me all my life. I am learning to look at the world with new eyes.I find my shoulders back and my head and eyes up more often than not. My fear of the world recedes a little with each small step I gain. I feel like I am only now waking up . The future now has endless possibilities .

Linda Shipalesky
Silent River Kung Fu, Stony Plain, Alberta Canada

It's not what I thought

Yesterday I did something impulsive, a post came up on our schools chat room (Koown talk) from a senior black belt. Now this black belt has had my back on many of occasions in classes I have been teaching. He was sick and couldn't do his rotation in our sparring class. I finally had an opportunity to repay his many kindness' to me, so I promptly volunteered to step in for him. Little did I realize the scope of this step. I am not passionate about sparring, At the best of times I do as little as I can to get through a class and never revisit the experience. But last night.... well lets just say I was in for a surprise. For one thing I had never even thought about the structure that this class was following. So after a lot of explaining from Sifu Brinker I started to fumble through the class. By the end of the class my respect for the students that make up this class had risen 100 percent. They make the air in the school vibrate with their passion. I came home happy and inspired. I lay in bed for hours and savored the experience . Would I do it again? In a minute. Thank you Sifu Hayes and Sifu Brinker for the opportunity and most of all for your never ending encouragement.

Linda Shipalesky
Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain Alberta

Who Knew?

What a busy week this turned out to be. November is a month filled with birthdays and last week my niece added to the population of our family by having a healthy baby girl. Once November hits the department stores go crazy with Christmas preparations . I love Christmas and all the decorations, music and of course the tree. The only down side is SHOPPING which I have always detested. One hour in the stores can suck the life right out of my good cheer.
Another sad side of November is that it must be fund raising month. Every other call coming into the house is one needy cause or another looking to find money to help out the sick and under privileged . I say the same thing to Randy every year " lets pick out one or two charities that really speak to us and not try to spread ourselves so thin." So far this hasn't worked. The pledge forms still keep coming in the mail that we give token amounts to. I'm not sure we are making a difference to any of them when the money sent is usually around $25.00. My argument with myself and Randy is still to really support only one or two with a larger amount.
My training has been on the down side this week. I find my energy in a slump. It seems to take everything I have just to drag my sore bones out of bed. I know its from the way I have been eating lately. My weight has been going up and that is always depressing. So goes the battle.
Anyway I am going to give myself a shake, as I sit here this morning I can see two brave Chickadee's eating from a cat dish that four cats share ... hummm I didn't know Chickadees eat meat or does cat food have any meat left in it?

Linda Shipalesky
Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain Alberta Canada

Renewed and Refreshed

What a weekend. Randy, Lacey and I went away this weekend. One of Randy's work crews were doing a job down on Windimere lake which is just outside of Radium Hot Springs. He was checking out the new rig they were using, Lacey and I were just enjoying the mountains. It was one of those moments I always try to force into my memory, to really stay in the moment.
Panorama ski resort is also only a half hour drive from the job site so we went up there for lunch on Saturday. Well , they were making snow and it felt like a winter wonderland. It was 9 above so we only had light jackets on although the visual picture dictated we should be wearing parkas.We sat in a green house cafe and were surrounded with all the snow crystals floating in the air around us. It was truly magical. One of the grooming crew had a dog who was very smart and entertaining to watch. The only thing missing was a ..... dare I say it, Christmas tree. It,s beginning to look a lot like .... Any way it was very refreshing. I really tried to stay in the moment like Sifu Brinker is always trying to reinforce in us.

Linda Shipalesky
Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain Alberta, Canada

Assertive or Obnoxious

A few weeks ago my middle daughter came home with a stray cat. Now my first reaction was" yes we'll foster it but we already have three cats and one more just seems extreme. Of course after spending time with "Rosie" there was no question who was not going anywhere. I did put my foot down and insisted that she spay the cat. I was totally shocked to find out it is over $250.00 to do this. My temper went up at this price. No wonder there are so many strays out there, so many unwanted kittens that have to be destroyed. Society frowns on pet owners who do not properly look after this aspect of things. But the flip side of this is that $250.00 can buy a lot of groceries. I can't imagine our home without pets , this has made me aware of what a privilege it is to be able to afford this luxury .
The other thing I struggled with this week is knowing when I am being assertive and when I have crossed the line into being obnoxious. My best friend thinks that my" asserting "myself always comes across as rudeness. The argument then was when are you letting someone walk all over you and when is walking away without saying anything the better thing to do. Anyway, we ended up both coming away with bad feelings over the subject so I guess I should have let the whole thing slide.

A great experience this week was watching a white belt student receive his yellow belt. The look on his face made all the volunteer hours put in to teaching more than worth while. Congratulations Mr. Funk!

Linda Shipalesky
Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta

I have had a great week for inspiration . The black belt class this week was based on a simple technique that was delivered with intensity. It was one of these classes that you come away with bruises that you didn't feel while you were getting them. I am always amazed to find new direction just by working with a different partner.
The other inspiration came from running our annual fund raiser "The Pandemonium" in our beginner teen/adult classes last night. As a group they gave it their all. You know that they didn't have much more to give when there is vomiting and students feeling like they might pass out because they can't catch their breath. If this is a refection of the funds they raised it should be one of the best results we have seen yet. Any one of the charities we support would be proud to accept such dedication to their causes.
UBBT 's end is in sight. My numbers are not where I hoped they would be a year ago. But on the other hand I never would have thought I could come this far. By opening myself up to such a great opportunity I have grown as a person one hundred percent. I will push towards the end with hopes of closing some of the number gaps.
Anyone up for UBBT 7?

Linda Shipalesky
Stony Plain Alberta Canada
Silent River Kung Fu

Difficult decisions

This last few weeks has been filled with the flu (H1N1) . Do we get the shot or not. I find the media very confusing and contradictory on the subject. As adults we make our decisions based on our feelings and intellect. But when we have to make a decision for our children it changes the stakes. My thinking gets clouded with emotion and that tends to make it a lot harder to decide what is best. The decision has to be made soon and my husband and I are divided on the subject. He feels that there is not enough positive information on the subject and my fear is that one of us will contact it before we are sure which way to go. The medical profession seem to think it is a good thing while the media and other sources put enough doubt in my mind to make me hesitate.
I guess I will keep watching and see if the answer becomes clear. I hope I don't regret the pause in my decision. Being a parent is never easy.

Linda Shipalesky, Silent River Kung Fu. Stony Plain Alberta

The First rule of self defense...

At my families Thanksgiving get together this weekend I had a chance to find out how well I react in a emergency situation.

We have a small group of under six year olds in our newest generation. As when all kids get together they tend to run wild. There is usually one adult in the given room where all the commotion is happening as was the case on this Sunday. All the other adult's (including myself) are in the kitchen preparing the coming feast or visiting with family we have not seen is the last six months or so.
A loud bang, a pause in the pandemonium and then a blood curdling scream stopped everyone in their tracks. Like every mother you are attuned to your children's cry or in this cause my grand daughters cry. Before I could get to the room that the kids were in my eighteen year old daughter came out of said room carrying my Granddaughter and yelling that we needed to get her to the hospital.My first glimpse of her was blood and lots of it pouring from her face. Amanda had a cloth covering her, trying to catch as much for the blood as she could. In that first few seconds my brain shut down and fear, then ... panic took over. Randy (my husband) stepped in and had things under control in minutes. I fought down the panic, tried to breath deep and get control of myself. This takes almost impossible will power and of cause lots of positive self talk.
We got her to the Stony Plain hospital were she ended up with fifteen stitches on the middle of her forehead. With any luck there won't be a scar by the time she's old enough to care about those things and the memory will be dim.
As for me I have something new to feel guilty about. The supermom syndrome kicks in. I should have been able to prevent any of this from happening... etc, etc.etc. The eye opener was how hard it is to control myself and to keep the panic at bay. Is it just my nature to react this way or can I train myself to react differently. Just something new to add to my list of things to fix about "me."

Linda Shipalesky, Stony Plain Alberta Canada

First rule of self defence

Mental Awareness week

So this is mental awareness week and over the last year I have been trying to figure out my own mental awareness. In some ways trying to remake myself and in other ways trying to rise above my self imposed restrictions on who I am. One of the biggest struggles I have is negative self talk. Realizing if I believe in something strongly enough I will project it and make it a reality weather it is positive or negative.
Awhile back I came across this paragraph in a book I was reading that made me stop and reread it over and over again "It was a strange feeling, but not surprising. I'd never been best at anything . I'm O.K. at dealing with people, but probably lots of people could do better. I am a good student , but never the top of the class. I have always just been average at athletics. I am not overly artistic or musical, no particular talent to brag of. Nobody ever gave away a trophy for reading books. So after Fifty years of mediocrity, I am pretty used to being average. I realized that I'd long ago given up any aspirations of shining at anything. I just do the best with what I have. "
This doesn't make me sad or even feel sorry for myself. I know I have hit upon my exact self talk. I feel now I can except this about myself and set about proving that the only way to change this is through hard work. I plan on picking a project and working my way through it. I actually feel set free and look forward to new challenges and goals.
The truth will set me free ...
Until next time,
Linda Shipalesky, Silent River Kung Fu, Stony Plain Alberta

Keep Learning

I've had some recall this week watching the black belt candidates practicing for their test. What an intense time that was in my life. The whole thing seems surreal after the fact. Although there are a lot of great memories associated with that time, there was also some major upheavals too. I think the only thing I would change about the whole thing is my age. I wish I was as smart as some of the young people in our school. At their ages I was in a whole different frame of mind. Too busy trying to make a living with no balance to it.
The ubbt has taught me to put more balance in my life. I'm still trying to find out how to handle myself in the big picture, but it keeps my life interesting.I suppose if you think you have all the answers you would stop trying. So on I go ...

Linda Shipalesky
Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta Canada

Control

I had a lesson on "Control" this Friday at black belt class. Without it you can end up hurting someone else or yourself. But to learn it you must practice it. This was my down fall at class. Over the years I have lost my nerve to do break-falls associated with throws. So last class I swallowed my fear and was ready to give it a go. I started out by doing a counter to a take down by throwing my partner over my head, I did this twice without complete success. After my third try my partner got up and held up her hands to indicate she had had enough. So much for trust and control, I had lost them both in a matter of minutes. It goes without saying that I spent the rest of the class trying to watch others preform the move. I never did get to work up the nerve to be the one being thrown.
Well its back to the basics for me and I know the next time "grab a partner" is called out that person will be looking for anyone else but me.
Sorry Sifu, I will try harder next time.

Linda Shipalesky
Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain Alberta

Starting over

Now that we are into fall everyone in my house hold is settling into their winter routine . It feels great to get back to the gym and working out on some of the equipment and using the track. It"s so easy for me to fall out of my fitness goals when things change at home, like all the kids home for the summer. I do love them home but it's also nice to have some time to myself. With the help of Sifu Brinker I have decided to take the challenge of the UBBT 7. I am in the process of setting out some goals for myself. I hope to overcome some of the things that I had trouble with this time and come out better in the end. A year is a long time . Here"s to a new challenge.

Linda Shipalesky
Silent River Kung Fu, Stony Plain

Do it again?

We were asked last black belt class if we would be doing UBBT #7 Live like a champion and I have been thinking about it ever since. I guess my biggest hesitation would be that I wasn't able to complete some of my UBBT # 6 requirements the way I would have liked to. My numbers for push ups and well just about all my reps. are not on track. But then I look at my personal growth and I know I'm further ahead than I ever imagined I could be. My acts of kindness have made me super aware of how I treat the people in my life and those who I meet day to day. Just saying I am a student member of the UBBT has made me stand taller and carry myself with more awareness. On the other hand the weight I lost at the beginning of the year is mostly history, and I'm back to that battle again. But the Martial arts has defined my life. I know where I stand in the big picture. I will never have the body of a 21 year old, but I can keep moving and striving for the best I can be at the age I am at. So I guess I would grade myself with a good mark over all and if I do it again my goals may be more about what's inside than out. I am definitely leaning to the next UBBT challenge .

Linda Shipalesky
Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain Alberta

Change is good..... right?

I have had a very emotional week. Something I have been trying to avoid came to a head this week. Although I did my best to keep everyone happy, things were still taken the wrong way. I am no good a politics. I guess I'm too naive .
My youngest daughter started grade one today and it was very hard to leave her at the school. I am so use to someone always hanging off my hands that I feel lost without her. The up side to that is that she was very excited to be back with the friends she made last year in kindergarden.
The last days of August are upon me and the signs of fall are all around. The hummingbirds have become scarce. I'm not sure when they head south, but I wish I was going somewhere warm too.
I am looking forward to the new group of students after the fall renos. Its always inspiring to see the beginnig of a generation so to speak in our school.
Anyway I know nothing ever stays the same, change is good, but I have to try to slow it down sometimes.

Linda Shipalesky
Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta

Making us proud

Crown Prosecutor George (Jody) Fraser (front), who is a quadriplegic, does a tandem jump with Lyal Waddell of Eden North Parachute School as part of a fundraiser for Ainembabazi Children's Project in Africa on August 22, 2009 near Edmonton, Alberta. The money raised goes to children affected by AIDS in Africa.
Photograph by: Aidan Walters, Eden North.

I have trained with Sifu Lyal Waddell for many years in Silent River Kung Fu and have always found him humble.His Kung Fu is very personal to him and so he does not tell many people he trains with us. He is very good at what he does and would be the last person to bring attention to himself in a situation like this. I know I speak to him from all of our Kung Fu family when I extend our appreciation for his contribution to the Aimenbabaze Children's project.

The countdown

I have been watching the countdown clock that Sifu Brinker started way back when and I can tell you it always makes my stomach flutter. I get butterflies every time I see it. Now it's reading 14 days. Oh my god, time has gone by so fast. You can be sure any Black belt you ask can tell you exactly what your thinking,feeling right now. This will be the most intense part of the whole experience . It brings back some very strong emotions for me. This was one of the most recallable things I ever did. Try to keep the end in sight. Don't let negative self talk get in your way. Good Luck.

Linda Shipalesky
Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta

Temper , temper

I know that I have come a long way in my life with my Kung Fu, but not that far. This weekend I had to stop and give myself one of my many self talks. We were at a restaurant and the service was very slow. The waitress talked to us about how overworked she was and asked us to have patience with her. I felt sorry for her and totally understood where she was coming from.... well that was until we sat there for three quarters of an hour without getting our food. I know, I know ... I said I understood and would be patient, but everyone else around us had already got their food. My temper was getting the better of me and my temperature started to rise. Of course it didn't help that my husband, who has the patience of a saint was giving me the look ... you know the one," Linda your overreacting ... again." Anyway we did get our food eventually and I was only a little rude to the waitress, but felt instantly guilty for my attitude . Just when I thought I could give myself that pat on the back...


"I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation"
George Bernard Shaw

Linda Shipalesky
Silent River Kung Fu

I'm late with my blog this week. I just couldn't think of anything to talk about.So I was thinking about reading. I go though times when I can't get enough books to consume. I have a quota to get to for my ubbt. requirements, but I wasn't counting the fictions I like to escape with. I have three autobiographies , three quarters finished laying around that I can't seem to concentrate on long enough to get through. It's not that they are not worth while, its just that the reality of life is sometimes enough and I find it hard to add someone else's reality on top of my own. Fiction is a little like escapism or watching a good movie. A mini vacation if you like. Anyway if I count all the books I've read I would be well over the amount I need, but otherwise I still have half to go, talk to you all soon

Linda Shipalesky
Silent River Kung Fu

Clear vision

The new harvest is starting to come in. I was able to take new potatoes and carrots out of my garden this week. Nothing tastes better! Of course this always brings me back to my "diet" or lack of attention I have been paying to it. My big pacifier is that the kids will be going back to school in September and then I can really take care of things. Right! The one thing that the ubbt has made me aware of is the fact that it's always going to be a struggle to maintain a healthy weight and no matter how I look I will always feel overweight. I also know I am the only one who can change any of this... oh boy do I know this.
The other thing I am working on this last few weeks is putting things in order. Learning when I need to plan ahead and how to use things spontaneously . I find that there is great resources in the people in our school. It takes me a lot of courage to able to approach them and ask them to use their talents in one of our classes. I think with Sifu Brinker's encouragement I am getting better at it. The whole class will benefit from this if I can just keep a clear vision of the outcome.

Linda Shipalesky

Silent River Kung Fu

Holiday blues

Driving in a foreign country always makes me appreciate our well maintained Alberta roads. Most of the places you can stay in south central Costa Rica needs four wheel drive vehicles. The back roads usually have at least one stream you will have to cross. On a good day with no rain this is fun, but if you are in the rainy season one good down pour can send the stream overflowing its banks, Great adventure but I was sure glad I was just the passenger . Most of the time its like living a dream and a few days after I'm home I find it hard to believe it was real .
I must admit my ubbt training went to the dogs while I was away. Though the guilt of not training was ever present. Should have just done it. The reality cheek of attending my Monday morning class was enough to put everything back in perspective. I still have a lot of things to learn about keeping focused.

Linda

positive energy

I have to make a comment on the Second degree sihing class this year. There is such a feeling of family and support coming from them. I find this very inspiring. They have set up a fine support system between them. All for one and one for all. Just about every class I am in there will be a group of sihings working either in a group or alone. The Physical part of their black belt requirements will be taxing for them but I can't help but feel that they have really got a good understanding of the mental end of things. The battle with mind in these kinds of tests can make or break the success of the individual. To surround yourself with like minded people who also have positive thoughts can only come out in a good result. I think we are going to have a great group of new black belts come the spring.

Linda

Self awareness

These days I find myself trying to see myself as others see me. Of course this is impossible.I have always loved people watching and I thought I could guess who they might be by their body language. This in turn brings me back to myself and how I might move or react to other people in most situations. Even if I can hold myself still and straight, I can't always control what comes out of my mouth.
Over the last two years it has been my personal goal to overcome my shyness. This has been a hugh struggle. I find it takes a lot of self control to ignore the little voice in my head that constantly erodes at my self confidence. The voice that second guesses every thought as being stupid or wrong, and much to my own doing trying to "read" other peoples reactions in every conversation. The other thing which I try to control is turning red when I feel slightly uncomfortable. I"m not always sure if it's my internal temperature or if its heating my face up too.
This week has been very hard one to handle. I find that I can't always deal with the "new" reactions to my small steps in the battle with shyness. People who give me responsibilities that I'm not sure I can handle or even deserve. That self talk sneaks back into my head and once again I feel shy and want to go back to the safe place.

This journey has become terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time. One thing for sure is that it is never boring. I must admit that the saying "one step forward and two back" definitely applies to me . I think the biggest revolution so far is just to be myself and hope that people like what they see.

Linda

Here comes the sun!

I can't help but notice that the older I get the longer the winter seems. This week has seen the long awaited spring/summer weather I have been waiting impatiently for. I have learned some things about myself in the last six months by living the UBBT. One of the most significant is that I love to live out doors. Being outside in the sun/rain with the mild temperatures is what makes my heart sing. I know I have put in a good days work when I need a scrub brush to get the garden dirt off my feet. My big old dog is in his glory to have company with him all day long. Because of his size he lives outside. I never had the heart to tell him he is not a lap dog. The only thing that I could add to this picture is my kids working or playing around me while I work... schools out in a week so . Good things come to those who wait.
Anyway the real lesson here is like Sifu Brinker has been saying forever is to live in the moment. Depending on the time of day I can say focused in the "NOW" either that or I find myself trying to cram as much of the days into my memory to take out and look at in the long dark winter when my heart longs for the sun.
Maybe it's time to think of living in a warmer/milder climate. If only I could bring all my family with me. Anyone up for Costa Rica.

Linda

Instant gratification

There is not many things in life that you get satisfaction from right at the moment it happens. Most of the things in my life are on a wait and see time frame. It has been a life with many lessons in patience which defiantly is not my strong point. Wait for the next pay check, wait until your Dad gets home, wait until my husband gets home from out of town, wait until after supper, wait for your next belt, anyway the list goes on and on. So once in a while its nice to see the results of your labor right in front of you. This weekend we laid sod. The yard went from ugly black barren landscape to a lush green lawn in a matter of hours.
Now I would be the first to argue that anything worth having is best received after you have worked for it. Every once and a while though its good for the soul to see the results right in front of your eyes.
I never feel it's the right time to say it, but most classes I teach or help with in Kung Fu give me this same gratification. When I see the results of a single class or instruction within the students grasp or see the understanding dawn on their faces I get this same warm and fuzzy feeling. It probably doesn't feel like it was so instant to the student, but from a different point of view, the bigger picture was very clear.
So the things we feel will never come are some times right in front of us, we just never stepped back far enough to see the big picture.


Linda

Sinking Fast

Wow,what a weekend. Sifu Brinker did it again. He has challenged me to step out of my comfort zone. I can say with conviction that there was so much information that by mid afternoon I felt my brain shut down. The seminars by Master McNeill held in our school this weekend was packed with new techniques and ideas.
The cane, that at first appearance seems like a tool , turns out to be probably the most diverse and deadly weapon you can have in your hands. Of course this is assuming you know what to do with it and are capable of handling it with some finesse. Aside from having a real left handed day, I came away feeling like it would take me years to even have a basic understanding of how to really use it.
The other thing that came apparent to me is the intertwining of ideas and techniques that flow through the martial arts. If you think you know anything or everything about this great art, think again. All you have to do is take in a course like this weekend and it brings you back to your humility. It made me realize how little I know. I have a lot to learn.
The class itself was a great opportunity to work with new partners. People that I normally wouldn't have shared a class with. Everyone was there to learn and I felt equal to all no matter what the belt level.
Master McNeill had a chinese saying on his belt that roughly translated to " if you work and train with people long enough they become your family. And family always comes first. " Family comes first has always been the biggest part of my morals. I feel privileged to add new people to my "family."

Linda

empathy training

I have always wondered about people who are super sensitive to their health issues. I have one person in my life that I considered over sensitive. I have had little or no patience for this person for most of the time I've known her. I never understood how her entire focus in life is the everyday discomforts that we all feel each morning we get out of bed. The constant worry over a headache... or gas must be something more than a belly ache... the cold is the first signs of something bigger or the mole is, well...
At the beginning of May I decided to have a mole checked out by my doctor. It was small and not overly noticeable. But my intuition was nagging at me to get it looked at. Besides I was already there getting laser hair removal from my overly active growing hormones.(or old age, you pick). The procedure took five minutes and was no worse than getting your teeth cleaned. I was in and out in five minutes. Great, I went on about my life as always, having forgotten about the "mole removal " all together.I came home from a Friday night black belt class on a high note after a good work out to find a voice message from the doctors office. There were test results that he needed to talk to me about first day he was back after the long weekend.
My world came to a screeching halt. For the next three days I couldn't think of anything else. Cancer,melanoma . The mirror was hard to pass as I inspected every other mole I had on my face and other parts of my body. I come from a family who have considerable amounts of moles. Panic set in. This turned out to be the longest long weekend of my life. Nothing anyone said helped because I had gone inside myself.My own mortality was weighing heavy on my mind.I never dreamed I would have to deal with something like this.
I seen the doctor on Tuesday and came away with more information on the subject. If you're going to get cancer this was probably the mildest one you could have. I would have to have another biopsy done around where the mole was to make sure he had removed it all. I would live. My life would go on much the same as it has. I will be more diligent about using sun screen and no more sun tan beds.
Now every little ache and pain means so much more... was that normal, is that a lump or was that there before? How do people who are really ill deal with it day to day. Where do they find the courage and will to go on? How do they take the focus off of their ill bodies and find the strength to go about their daily lives. I'm not sure I could do it.
Walk a mile in my shoes means so much more to me now. I couldn't handle it for a weekend so I don't know how someone handles it for the rest of their live.
To all of you who face these battles on a day to day bases my hats off to you. I will not longer be so fast to dismiss the ales of others.

Linda

How many people does it take to raise a child

I strongly believe it takes an entire community to raise a well rounded child. My middle daughter turned eighteen in March and has suddenly become an adult. She has been raised in and around our Kwoon since she was seven We have exposed her to as many life lessons as we could and did and of course said what we thought she needed to hear. How much did she take in? Where the life lessons understood and received in the manner we all taught them?
I know you will all feel that this is so when I tell you her weekend story.
Amanda and a friend where traveling home from Edson on Monday of the long weekend. They came upon a young woman on the side of the road franticly trying to flag them down. Against what we have always told her (never pick up a hitch hiker!) she stopped. Screaming the young woman asked them to phone 911 because her baby (about 18 months old) was choking to death. Her partner had the child in the right first aid position and was trying to clear the air way. Amanda made the 911 phone call while trying to ask the right questions to the caregiver. "Did you check the air way, is it clear...." The baby was turning blue, time was running out. Other drivers began to stop and one young man knew where the hospital was and felt he could get the baby there faster than waiting for the ambulance. Amanda, still on the phone to 911 told the operator what was happening and they were able to inform the hospital of the baby's arrival. The young mother was not able to drive the standard car she was traveling in so Amanda drove her behind the truck with the baby to the hospital. She talked to the mother the whole way trying to keep her as calm as possible. They got to the hospital and heard the welcome sound of the babies cry. It turned out the baby wasn't chocking at all but had had a very high temperature the night before and as a result stopped breathing.
None of us were there with her,but over the years of training on how to stay calm and to take a leadership role,along with compassion and a lot of other lessons in life, she handled things well . As a mother I realize that there are curtain things that are genetically present in each of us that shape how we handle things. But a great deal also depends on the people who have influenced her along the way . She has had some great mentors. To a lot of you this is a Mom story and one I am proud to tell, but there are others of you who I know feel the same pride because you too have helped raise our fine young woman.
There is a lot more to the martial arts than kicking and punching, a well rounded mind is also a big part of self defense and helps in handling ourselves in the world around us.
Thank you Silent River Kung fu, she is definitely one of yours...

Linda

south paw

This week has brought me to one of many "AHA" moments in my training.I don't know if it's like this in every martial arts school, but in our school we all train right handed. Thats right, if your left handed you have to switch to the right. I know a good number of Lefties in our school who make this change smoothly without most people ever knowing the difference. Not me, this causes me a great deal of trouble, and confusion. Anyway this wasn't suppose to be a wining party, I do have a point to make. During a class a couple of weeks ago while we were learning Master McNeil's cane form Master Brinker issued a challenge to the class to learn the form with our left hands too. To be honest with you this is something I really avoid because I worry I will have trouble switching it in my head.I had a bad class the next week due to lack of practice on my part so I felt I needed to push harder to try and make up for it. The next evening I took the plunge and switched to my favorite hand and gave it a go."Oh my god it felt so wonderful not to feel overly clumsy. I mean it was a long way from good but oh what a feeling.... this has to be a good excuse for a lot of the things I do not do so well. Lots of times I look around me and think "natural talent" thats why they all catch on so quick. Now I feel like I can give myself a break and take a little extra time to figure things out. It may never be perfect but I have accomplished something by just doing it with the wrong hand.
I would love to know how the rest of the class made out switching hands. If you had no trouble then be kind to my ego and pretend you did.....
Linda

The battle of the bulge

I have been doing some real soul searching this week and I think I have a handle on my depression. I think what makes it worst is that I am an emotional eater. So one thing perpetuates the other, I'm feeling down , to feel better I crave sugar.... that translates into chocolate for me. I usually end up at the grocery counter at least every other day and low and behold "chocolate" and guess what, my weight starts to creep up "BAM" depressed again. Anyway knowing what's going on has to be the first step in recovering Right? Here's hopng....

Linda "bulge"

Hitting the wall

Man, what a horrible week.I am really thinking it may not be better to take a vacation to a tropical country. Since I returned from Costa Rica I have been living under a cloud. I can't seem to shake the feeling of reality setting in. I have not been able to get back into my UBBT requirements and no matter how hard I look at my life I can't shake the feeling of dissatisfaction . Last week I asked you all for a roundhouse to the head.... this week I'm asking for a swift kick in the pants. Our late arrival of spring doesn't seem to help either, every time I turn around it's snowing again. HELP! I have been able to run somewhat but not as much as I usually do and my push ups... well I've been doing only the bare minimum. I could wine on an on but I think that kick is in order.
I would appreciate anything you can think of to brighten my mood. I know I have a good life, but well, you know....

Linda

needful things

It has become clear to me just how much the Ubbt has affected my life and how I interact with the world around me. Not all the things I am learning about myself are good. I would never have considered myself overindulgent or self centered but after a recent vacation to Costa Rica this became very evident to me.
You could not ask for a more favorable climate or a more scenic place to spend a vacation. Even when it rains the temperature never drops below 80 degrees. After we left the airport and headed to our vacation rental it became clear to me how poor the native people are. Their homes are constructed of little more than a tin roof and a few walls. Many of them didn't have windows just open screens. It wasn't until a few days later after interacting with the locals that I realized how wrong I was. These people didn't consider themselves poor, but are happy with the simple way in which they choose to live. Their lives are rich in culture and family
A profound guilt began to take form in my mind. In comparison my life is filled with material things,you know the things I need around everyday to make my life easier and well,happy. The need I have to accumulate things... the stuff I really need and can't live without started to make me feel smothered. What was I doing? Is this ugly need really mine? When is enough enough? Does any of it really make me happy? "NO" Time for a reality cheek!
Wow, It feels good to get that off my chest. I am going to do something about it. To start I am going to have a big garage sale and get rid of some of my many "needful things" I am going to make a concentrated effort to buy more mindful of lives basic needs.
I have had my eyes opened in the most unusual of places and cam only put it down to the UBBT and the way I am learning to look at the world through fresh eyes.If you see me eyeing up one of those needful things give me a roundhouse to the head, I know this will not be easy but I want to give it a try. Maybe I can become more aware of what it takes to be really happy....

talk to you all soon
Linda

Opening up

My head is still spinning with thoughts of Alabama. Whenever I run into one of my companions from the trip I get the warm fuzzies. I hope I never loss this feeling. It's like we share a secret to something that you can't seem to explain. A little corny I know,but I want to hold onto it a little longer.
I find myself open to so many more experiences The possibility's are right in front of me, something that has been there all along but I was missing it. Fo instance I started teaching a class early in the week and came to a spot where I wasn't sure where to go with it. Master Brinker stepped in and followed my lead to a great end. Wow, why didn't I think of that? He has done this hundreds of times but that night I realized that I was on the right track I just need to push myself harder to finish what I started.
I usually get myself worked up to think of something new or interesting to bring to a class I am helping with or teaching, this morning I watched another black belt teach something and realized I could bring this into the night classes as long as I approached it right.
Again this has been there all along, I just didn't see it right. The light has come on and is burning bright. I have so much more to learn. I need to keep myself open to the world around me. Breath in, breath out. Stay in the moment and let life come to me.
A side note about this journaling... I can say things in here that I could never say to people face to face .... I'm not sure that this is a good thing but it feels right. I'm off to Costa Rica with my family tomorrow, I'll talk to you in two weeks

Stay in the moment

Linda

The eyes of the world are upon you

This message was never more apparent than it was this last week I
spent in Greensboro Alabama. Each of us carry the title of being a
student of Silent River Kung Fu.No matter what your belt level or
color you, and I do mean YOU, represent each and everyone of us.In
your actions or reactions, in what you say and do,how you conduct your
day to day lives, how you carry yourself, you carry 300 other peoples
reputation with you. Master Brinker, Coach Tom Callos, and every black
belt in our school and nation wide are trying to take the martial arts
out of the schools and into the world. In doing this we are exposing
our "dirty laundry" along with our acts of kindness, our community
work and yes even our every day lives. Our journals and blogs are
being read nation wide and no you're not just talking to yourself. You
are making an impression. Choose your words carefully, stay in the
moment as much as possible , breath in and out and be proud of who you
are and who you have chosen to represent.So far so good, we were well
received in Alabama, you can all be proud. Keep up the great work and
smile "The eyes of the world are on you."

Sifu Linda Shipalesky
--~--~--

renewed commitment

We're home from Alabama and I can't put into words all the feelings running around in my head.I think it will take some time to absorb it. There isn't one thing I would change except maybe pushing myself to talk to more people. There was so much talent and information to draw from that I could have learned so much more. It feels incredible to be part of such a great body of people, The atmosphere was one of family and a desire to get things done. No job was too big or too small it was just done with no complaint. On a scale of one to ten everyone was there to give it a ten. Always giving it their best.
The Canadian team (our unofficial nickname) was phenomenal . Our demo team, Sifu Edge, Sifu Simpson and Sifu Robertson did us proud. They conducted themselves with grace and passion. Silent River has produced some very well rounded individuals.Mr. Tymchuk was our comic relief and I envy his ability to reach out to people with his curious personality and of course Master Brinker was our beloved leader who always conducts himself with nothing but dignity. IF pride is a sin then I am guilty of it tenfold. I know I have found life long friends in these people, they are truly my family.
Well enough of the mushy stuff I would like to extend a big Hi "youall youall" to everyone else in Alabama and thank you for such a memorial experience . I hope to see you next year same time, same place...

Talk to you all sooner than later,

Linda

Mind games

I've had a week full of nerves. Going to Alabama without my family has sent me into a spin. This is way out of my comfort zone and I think if I don't go soon my husband is going to kill me. Originally the plan was for us both to go, but he got tangled up at work. I know once I get there I will be fine but oh what my mind can conger up in the middle of the night is amazing.
Some times I can have too much time to think about things.
Anyway I hope to meet some of you down there and those of you I don't I'll let you know what happened.

Linda

Living hero # 3 Lisa Freitag

We all have people in our lives that seem ordinary, that is until you take a closer look. We have our outer shells in place to shield ourselves from the harsh reality's of live. One of my favorite pastimes is to try and see behind this protective shell and find the person underneath.In this case I was very pleasantly surprised. I first saw Lisa at our Kwoon teaching my son a lesson in the tiny tigers class. She came across as a harsh task master with a very definite set of rules to follow. It took a few weeks of watching the class before the other side of her became visible. Behind the tough exterior lurked a very soft and caring soul. She really cared about these kids and had nothing but their bet interest at heart.
Over the next decade I came to know her and yes love her. She is not verbal about her childhood and has only ever hinted at her struggles to overcome her past. She is a strong voice in the issue to stop bullying in schools and playgrounds. Her young life was plagued with these issues long before they were recognized by any authorities.As a teenager she struggled with her self image and worth. There was a time she considered herself not worth saving. For us who know her we are glad she struggled on.
She will be the first to tell you that Silent River and Master Jeff Brinker gave her back her drive. She is a living example of what the martial arts can do for your mental well being as well as your physical self.Her strong personality is what makes Silent River such a family oriented School. She has touched hundreds of lives over the years and never expects or asks anything in return. You can depend on her to always have your back.
This draft is a very abbreviated version of her life.If you ever have the privilege , her telling of it could make you cry and yes laugh. She is a very private person and so I have asked her in advance for the right to tell her story.
Thank you Sifu Freitag

Linda

Living Hero #2 Susan Fyfe

The following story touched me because of the goals I have set for myself at this age. I love horses but have always had a healthy fear of them too.
Susan did what I strive for. To be able to take charge of a situation and organize a group of people into action. She was able to do this with the passion she had for horses. People recognize this and are inspired to help.
I am a relatively new teacher in Kung Fu and strive to inspire the students to a new passion for the art. Along with the higher black belts in our school Master Brinker demonstrates this passion every time he steps onto the mats. I know I have to find my own way to touch people but with these people as mentors I feel I have an excellent start.

Linda

Reader’s Digest names Alta. woman who saved 100 starving horses 2008 'Rescue Hero'
THE CANADIAN PRESS

EDMONTON — When Susan Fyfe took 100 emaciated Arabian horses into her care last spring, all she wanted was to see them nursed back to health.
“I wasn’t doing it for my breeding program, I did it to heal the horses,” said Fyfe, who spearheaded efforts to save the starving herd in central Alberta.
Those efforts have landed Fyfe on the cover of this month’s Reader’s Digest magazine, who named her “Rescue Hero of 2008.”
She was nominated by a friend in Okotoks, Alta., and chosen among thousands of other nominees.
“I feel honoured,” said Fyfe, who owns Keno Hills Stable and Tack Shop in Sherwood Park, east of Edmonton.
She said the rescue mission was a group effort involving nearly 500 volunteers who devoted their time, resources and expertise.
Fyfe took in the animals a week after they had been seized by the SPCA on Feb. 26, 2008 from a farm near Andrew, about 100 kilometres northeast of Edmonton.
The horses were supposed to be auctioned the week they were discovered, but the sale was put off when they were deemed too sick and emaciated.
Some of them were so exhausted they couldn’t even lift their heads off the ground, Fyfe said.
The SPCA found 27 horses dead on the ranch, and four more died later.
By July, all the horses had been adopted and are all doing well, Fyfe said.
The two horse owners were charged under the Animal Protection Act and fined. One of the owners, who faced a similar conviction in 2005, is prohibited from owning horses.

Back to reality

I did a little number crunching this week and was both disappointed and happy with the results. I am not near where I should be but a lot further than I have ever been before.My running seems to be my driving force. I'm sure to anyone Else's standard it would be feeble but as a personal goal I feel like it's coming along. Push ups and reps. of a single form is way behind but I will keep pushing on. Missing a day here and there starts to add up. One foot in front of the other....

Push ups: 8500
kilometers walked, biked or run:450
Acts of kindness: 320
books read: three
living hero's documented: one

Linda

The best present

My husband and I joined Master Brinker as student members of his UBBT test back in October/2008. The journey together so far has done wonders to bring us closer together. Over the years of our marriage lots of things conspired to get between us. Kids, jobs, different interests and just trying to make a home where everyone was comfortable.We changed and grew sometimes in different directions. Now not all of this was for the worst, change can keep us interesting and a little mysterious as long as we don't get too far afield.
We started out in the ubbt with the "Body for life" program. The common goal kept us on track and added a bond that we had let slip over the years. We finished the initial three month challenge and decided to keep this program as a life change. Most of the time we are on track....most of the time. We both fluctuate around five pounds up or down, but are able to keep the basic principle of the program.
We have three of our four children living at home still. The teenagers seemed to take an interest in the exercise part of the program slowly over the last few months. To both our delight our eighteen year old has decided to return to her Kung Fu training after five years of a break. I would like to think we had a positive influence on her decision.So as I see it the UBBT has indirectly affected her life. She is talking about UBBT 7 for next year already.
The Silent River family are such a great group that they welcomed her back with open arms. Its such a great place for her to expand her mind and test the waters of her adult life. Amanda turns eighteen on the 8th of March. I think her Dad and I are the ones who got the present.

HAPPY DAYS!

Linda

Walking the walk

I have already blogged this week but I have a story to tell everyone. Our School has really embraced the acts of kindness philosophy . This really hit me just how much while I was at the tri (our local gym). With the cold weather I almost always see someone from Silent River on the track,bikes or in the fitness room. When you are there almost every day you also get to know a lot of faces even if you don't know names.My attention was taken by a face attached to an older woman. she walks the track at least every other time I'm there. She walks with a limp and wears these rubber shoes, you know the ones with the holes in them. They are great for gardening or rain but have no support and are hard to walk in for a long ways. A fellow student from Silent River commented to me about this woman and how for months she had been carrying a spare set of runners with her in her bag in hopes of giving the elderly woman a good set of shoes to walk in. Today I had the pleasure of seeing this student approach the woman and make the offer of the shoes. The woman refused the shoes on the grounds her feet were misshaped and didn't fit into anything other than the rubber shoes. The fellow student then walked at least another km. with her and listened to her thoughts of the day. This turned out to be the act of kindness.
A short time later I was walking with yet another fellow student to the change rooms when we came upon another woman who uses a walker to get around. She was struggling to open a door. Almost at the same time we both said "let me get that door for you" she was quicker than me and climbed over a bench and at least a dozen pairs of shoes and winter boots to open the door.
I had to laugh at myself for the feeling of competition that over came me to be the one to open that door.
I can't think of a better feeling there is to be part of such a great bunch of people to train with and to have in my life on a day to day bases.
Thank you Silent River Kung Fu for living the life and walking the walk.

Linda

Living Hero #1 Matt Long

Taken from a feature story out of "runner World" March 2009."A Second Life" by Charles Butler. Matt Long seemed unstoppable- until he got crushed by a 14 ton bus. Doctors were sure the veteran fireman and marathoner would die, but he proved them wrong. then he discovered that learning how to live again would be harder than surviving. Maybe that's why Long decided to try the unthinkable: to run a marathon. Matt Long survived a horrific set of injuries, and went on to do the impossible. He ran a Marathon.
This story really touched something in me. I struggle weekly to run at the track in hopes of being able to run 2k. without stopping or walking. I was feeling that after five months and only progressing to one km without walking was not really advancing that well. I realized that everything has to be put in perspective. My personal goals are a lot smaller and easier to obtain that a lot of peoples.If I have the will to do something then I have to dig deep within myself and find the power and ambition to do it.

Matt Long also founded the " I WILL" foundation. This is a non profit organization that was established to help people with the will to work hard and overcome adversity and challenges caused by life altering illness or traumatic injury.
If you would like to read this story you can go to the following address:

http://www.iwillfoundation.com/

Linda

One step at a time

I have been doing the UBBT unofficially since October and I can't believe how much I have been learning about myself in this time. I am discovering another side of myself that I actually like. Once I started to let people in, to let them see who I have been hiding from the world I realized I'm not so bad after all. If other people can except me even though they know some of my short comings then I can except and try to change these things in myself.
One baby step at a time, but I'm getting there,

Linda

Trust

Trust... such any easy thing to give. A small word with such enormous implications. trust ;
–noun
1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.
2. confident expectation of something; hope.
3. confidence in the certainty of future payment for property or goods received; credit: to sell merchandise on trust.
4. a person on whom or thing on which one relies: God is my trust.
5. the condition of one to whom something has been entrusted.
6. the obligation or responsibility imposed on a person in whom confidence or authority is placed: a position of trust.
7. charge, custody, or care: to leave valuables in someone's trust.
8. something committed or entrusted to one's care for use or safekeeping, as an office, duty, or the like; responsibility; charge.

Of course I took this out of a dictionary and even after eight really good explanations it still doesn't even come close to what it really means. One thing is certain once you have lost or misused someone's trust it is almost impossible to get it back.
On the other end of this equation once you have been burned by someone you become distrustful of a lot more things in your life. More cynical . After receiving my second degree black belt this weekend I have overloaded on what an enormous responsibility that goes with a black belt of any level. To stand in front of a class and try to install confidence and yes Trust in the students looking back at me. Over the last years of working towards my second degree with the guidance of Master Brinker I have come to believe that the mental training of a class is almost more important than the physical things. Not only does the class need to trust me but in turn I must learn to trust them. I must open myself up to them in a way that leaves me vulnerable . So trust is a big part of my training. I hope I am up the task. I will give it my best shoot.
Linda

What's in it for me?

I struggled this week with a very simple community based project. I was upset with myself for not being able to inspire others to see the value in these types of projects. I was of the mind that it would be easier to do the project myself rather than to keep coxing others to do their parts.It has made me reluctant to put my name on other projects which I guess would be defeating the whole idea.
In the end I tried to see the value this has for me. What I could learn from this experience and what I could bring to the next project. I think I lost sight of who I am supposed to be helping and that it is not about me. The "what's in it for me " way of thinking is hard to combat...
Here's hoping I cam learn to open my eyes
Linda
Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, Alberta
Canada

A new Year

This weekend I had the privilege of attending a Chinese new years banquet put on by one of the bigger martial arts associations in our community.I always find it inspiring to watch another school preform similar forms and techniques as ours. I come away thinking if I fix this or that and work harder I might look something like that....well maybe not.Thats one of the great things about the martial arts you are only competing with yourself. If you are better this week than you were last week then you have moved forward no matter how the person standing next to you looks.
Speaking of Chinese New Years the one thousand push ups and sit ups we did to commemorate this holiday was tough but well worth the pain.
talk to you soon

Linda
Silent River Kung Fu, Stony Plain Alberta

A living hero

" A LIVING HERO" What does this mean? Just reading these words always sends tingles down my spine. The words seem larger than life don't they. It's easy to conjure up a mental image of Superman, Batman etc but in everyday life these mystical people do not exist. I have always wanted a hero, depending on my age and of course the situation I was in it seemed like a magical answer. When I reflect back over these times I realize that there was always someone there to support me or just hold my hand.I was just too self centered to recognize them. These are the people I should have been singing there praises. The ones who give and expect nothing back except perhaps my happiness. There names would have no interest to anyone but myself, and if asked would be surprised to have been thought of as a "hero".
So in the next 12 months I am going to attempt to do them justice. I will post a small essay here about them, but I think first I will tell them what I want to do and see that they are all right with it.
I wanted to mention too how much trouble I am having recording my acts of kindness. I have struggled to get my head around it and lately, can't make myself write them down. I can't help but feel by writing them down I am taking the act away. The kindness we show to our fellow human beings should come naturally, without question and without validation.I feel like I'm putting a notch in my belt or something.I feel like I would get more out of recording acts of kindness done to me each day. This would help me keep my humility and remind me not to be judgmental of others. There is always so much more to people than what we seen and these acts will remind me of this.
Anyway I will struggle on and let you know how I make out.
talk to you soon

Linda Shipalesky
Silent River Kung Fu, Stony Plain, Alberta, Canada

Back on track

This has been a pretty uneventful week. Classes are back in full swing after the Christmas break and everyone is either trying to get their mojo back or are really into their fitness as part of a new years resolution.
For me it has been trying to get my mojo back. I missed about two weeks of training over Christmas due to a flu I couldn't seem to shake.I am back on track for my running, push-ups and class attendance but need to catch up on my forms practice. There has been so much snow lately that I'm tempted to add shoveling to my daily workout routine. I don't know about everyone else but my adopt a driveway sidewalks are cleaner than the ones at home ever are. I know one thing for sure out of this setback, I can give myself a ton more excuses why I'm not eating better when I fall of my whole routine
Today is a new day and so I will start over...

Linda

Digging deep

When I first started out on this UBBT journey with Master Brinker and the other black belts I knew there would be things that would be expected of me that would not be easy. I picked things off of the list that I felt "spoke" to me. But there was one requirement that did bother me that I did not pick. It has been playing on my mind since October when I first started the challenge.
"Mend two relationships in your life that have gone bad. This doesn't have to be your fault but you have to be big enough to fix it."
This is not the exact wording, but you get the picture. Without acknowledging or making this choice openly I guess I did pick it subconsciously.
So the other person in this broken relationship is beyond fixing anything. She is in her declining years and whether she knows it or not, does not have her full facilities.
I avoid her constantly, will not answer the phone if her number shows up,and to make matters worse never had a good thing to say to her or about her. So the battle rages within me, back and forth, was it me or is she to blame. Finally two weeks ago I answered the phone when I knew it was her. I managed to swallow my anger and talk civilized to her. I realized I will never be able to talk to her about what went wrong, but in the end forgiveness is what will set me free of this corrosive relationship. I have to forgive her for getting old on me and I have to forgive myself for resenting it.
This will be an ongoing process. It gets easier each time I talk to her. I have been trying to start a new friendship. Ieave the old one behind with the person she can no longer be. Heaven help me because it is still very hard not to reverse back to how I felt before.
With this all going on another relationship came to mind and so I will throw this one around in my head for a while and decide how I can fix it. I know this one is only my fault. So hopefully I can find the inner strength to be a bigger person.